The Enemy Wanted Me to Forfeit My Womb

I remember sitting on the pull-out couch, in the thick of postpartum.

I was sleep deprived, sore, overwhelmed—and all I could think about was how I was done having kids.

Postpartum depression didn’t knock on my door, it busted right through it and wasted no time consuming me.

I could barely keep my head above water, and the dreams I once had of a house full of boys running through my home suddenly felt silly and unrealistic.

Day after day, I thought to myself:
“I’ll never do this again.”
“I can’t.”
“God must’ve made a mistake choosing me to be his mother.”

And eventually… I agreed with those thoughts.

But God.

He gently interrupted the storm in my mind and my entire perspective shifted.

The Lord showed me that I wasn’t just venting— I was agreeing with lies whispered by the enemy. I was cursing my own womb and I didn’t even realize it.

Then came the conviction.

As a daughter of God, I don’t live by my own will but by His.

So, if He hadn’t said He was done blessing my womb, why was I deciding that I was done?

God didnt stop there though. He showed me something deeper:

Satan needs agreement to execute his will. If he could get me to curse my womb with my words, he would gain permission to attack it later— through infertility, miscarriage, or fear even if I changed my mind.

The enemy wasn’t just after me, he was after the generations that would come through me.

In the Bible, Satan used King Herod to try and kill baby Jesus.
Why? Because hell hates what God is birthing, especially in its infancy.

And here I was unknowingly partnering with hell to stop what Heaven wanted to release through my womb.

I thought I was just expressing frustration.
I thought I was “speaking my truth.”
I thought I could always change my mind later.

But God showed me it was bigger than that, deeper than that.

I was on the verge of forfeiting an entire assignment. And you want to know the worst part? I thought I was just being honest yet I was actually (unknowingly) in agreement with destruction.

But God didn’t leave me there.

He didn’t shame me.
He didn’t yell at me or withdraw His hand.
Instead, He gently corrected me because He’s a loving Father.

And then He gave me a choice: ignore His voice and go my own way or repent, surrender, and obey.

I chose the latter.

And that’s why I’m writing to you today.

Maybe you’ve said, “I’m done,” too. Not because God said He’s done, but because you’ve endured heartbreak, trauma, and/or exhaustion.

But can I ask you something, lovingly?

Did God say that or did your pain say it for you?

This isn’t about how many kids you’ll have.

It’s about obedience, surrender, and generations the enemy is afraid of because he knows what God wants to birth through you.

I share this not for attention, but because we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.

This is mine. And I pray it unlocks yours.

💬 Was this for you?

Leave a comment or share this with a mama who may be on the verge of giving up

Let's remind each other that our wombs are not the enemy’s playground.

They are God’s garden for legacy.